Do You Feel Wiggly?

Potty training has stalled; my son is too busy most days playing with his cars and dinos to take two minutes to visit the bathroom. String cheese worked well to get him interested initially (reference “Say, Cheese!”), but these types of bribes ultimately failed to maintain his interest. After two months of off-and-on potty training it is time for drastic action. This morning I decided to try something that has worked for a couple of different people that I know: letting the child run free with no diaper or underwear or pants. Sounds dangerous. I pulled my son’s socks up to his knees, turned the thermostat up a degree or two and hoped for the best.

When attempting this method of potty training it is a good idea to keep a very close eye on the toddler, and to keep paper towels and carpet cleaner handy. The thought of a person, no matter how small, urinating on the floor does things to a person. I spent the entire day following my son around and asking, “do you feel wiggly?” with such repetition that I wanted to choke myself so I didn’t have to hear it anymore. I was making myself crazy, but I couldn’t stop. Then I began to see things. Dark spots or any variation in the color of the dark brown Berber looked to be pee-pee stains, and I was forever groping around the floor in search of wetness. It was exhausting! I longed for bedtime when I could put a diaper on him and be able to abandon my vigil. I thought it would never come.

Thankfully all things must come to an end, even unpleasant ones. Right now it is just the end of Day One, but soon enough my son will be toilet trained and it will be time for my daughter to learn potty etiquette. I’m so tired right now that I feel as though the little guy can pick his nose all day long tomorrow and I won’t care. Besides, they grow up so fast that I know I need savor these years. I’m sure that potty training is less stressful than teaching a teenager to drive. Talk about feeling wiggly.