Beware the Evil Nap Monster

There is such a thing as an evil nap. A very, very bad nap that does more harm than it does good. That such a thing could exist in the world is only further evidence of the fall of man and our need for a loving God.

An afternoon spent at Nana’s house often results in the havers-of-good-times falling into an immediate coma upon exiting Nana’s driveway. There is always a certain amount of danger in a toddler or small child falling asleep during the hours approaching dinner; namely, they may sleep too long and miss the call for bedtime.

This is all very tricky for multiple reasons. One reason being that the silence produced by two children sleeping simultaneously is a bit of a drug for dear old mum. There is no one shouting, demanding anything, or otherwise climbing all over her. She may do as she likes so long as she doesn’t depart the premises and abandon the children to whatever mischief they may find upon awakening. Another reason that causes this whole dilemma to be a bit difficult is that certain children cannot be made to stir once they have made up their mind to nap. No amount of shaking, shouting, bribing, or dousing with water can make these children arise from the sleep of the inert.

So, whether it be due to reason number one or reason number two (or some other reason that has not afore been mentioned), certain small children were allowed to slumber at hours improper to be slumbered upon. Mommy permitted herself to take some small pleasure in this napping, although she knew only too well that she might be made to pay a great price for it later.

Then bedtime rolled around, as bedtime is wont to do. Daddy was defeated and gave into sleep. Mommy, ever the one to pay the price to the evil nap monster, became weary. Her tired and bloodshot eyes watched as the clock ticked and tocked its way farther and farther from the hour in which all respectable children are tucked into bed with their blanket pulled up to their chin, and their sweet little eyes closed to watch their dreams. Dreamy…dreams…sleep…

Now, where was I? Oh yes.

So the hour to bed came and went, and it seemed that the hour for waking was coming closer and closer, and still the children refused sleep. There was some crying and some whining. The light in their room was turned on, the books rifled through, the stuffed animals tossed about. Food and drink were requested. The baby held a concert.

And daddy lay in his bed, his chest rising and falling with the stupor of his sleep. And mommy punched herself in the nose for ever allowing the evil nap to take place at all. Then mommy almost punched daddy in the nose; for there is nothing worse to a person who wants to be asleep than a person already is.