In other news...

The funny thing about living in a city is that when one finds animal poop in the yard the immediate thought is that someone, other than the animal responsible for the said poopy, put it there. If one lived in the country that probably would not be a viable concern.

But, alas, I do not live in the country. So when the stinky stuff showed up in the back yard the alternatives for its appearance were discussed: considering the trajectory it seemed unlikely that it had been tossed there by a prankster youth (or perhaps a better word would be hoodlum); it also did not seem plausible that someone would mess with the spring loaded latch to allow their dog access to the yard. It was with much joy that these verdicts were embraced. The fact that the mulch had been dug in alluded to the possible presence of a grub-digging skunk.

What makes all of this rather amusing is the fact that mommy needs to know exactly what her precious toddler, who won’t eat green beans but will eat dirt, is being exposed to. Please tell me, who other than a mommy would spend half and hour looking up pictures of skunk, squirrel, raccoon, and hedgehog droppings? I don’t know if I was more pleased or disappointed that pencil drawings far outnumbered actual photographs. (It’s not easy to identify anything from a crude pencil sketch).

Anyway, my son had a very animated discussion with his shadow on the stair landing today. He shouted, flailed, and gestured. It was really quite something. At first I thought he was trying to re-create his amazing fall down the stairs from last week. My little boy can’t just trip and fall down the stairs like a normal human being, he had to do it while playing with a big, black garbage bag. Where did he get the bag? He was “helping” me sort through baby clothes from the attic when I momentarily lost track of him and he swiped the empty garbage bag. No, I doubt he tripped over the cat: just his impromptu black cape.

Back to the whole issue of bodily waste, in case anyone missed the small blurb in the police section a few weeks back, a female suspect escaped a cop, or security guard, while running by defecating and throwing it at the guy. So if anyone forgets his or her mace at home and needs to fend off an attacker, get a clue and just go poo.