Exciting Adventures in No-Where Land - Part 1

I really don't have many exciting adventures. And that's okay with me because I prefer when life goes along, predictable like, as adventures aren't always all they are cracked up to be. Generally there are some bad spots throw into all that excitement, and I would rather sit at home with a nice cup of tea and a good book while my three children play nicely (and quietly) together for hours at a time without needing to be fed, pottied, or reprimanded.

We were having one of those days recently where they were not playing together nicely and everyone was tired and bored. Including me. One of the things we like to do in such circumstances is to buckle everyone into the van and go out for a bit of a drive in the countryside, seeing if we can spot cows or deer, and just plain enjoy the river or the green green trees.

So off I went with the children all happily seated in their car seats with the promise of french fries at the end of our little meandering drive. We hadn't gone too far when I hopped a bit of the curb while pulling out from a stop sign. It made a bit more noise than would be expected from such a minor incident, but the car seemed to take it well and there was no horrid noises or shaking or smoke or anything of that sort. (My son did inquire as to whether we had a flat tire, but I assured him that if the tire were flat we would not be able to drive the van. Perhaps the apprehensive feeling in my stomach at this point was a little more than indigestion and should have been treated as a foreshadowing of the events to come.)

On we drove for a few miles enjoying the delicious breeze floating in through the windows when suddenly there came a rather suspicious sound from the rear of the vehicle. It was still operating perfectly fine, but there was that sound again, insistent and unmistakable- something was wrong back there. I wasn't sure if it was actually the tire, but that curb had done damage somehow.

Another mile or two passed us by before there was a safe place to pull over. As I approached the rear tire, there was a distinctive sag to it. Not quite flat, but definitely no longer round and plump. I have never had a flat tire in my life, nor have I ever experienced being stranded as a result of car troubles. But here I was, in a jam, with three children, no husband, and no cell phone.

Have Car- Will Spend Money

If I didn’t like getting to my destination quickly, I would consider buying a buggy; if I wouldn’t mind my “car” defecating in the street behind me, I would get a horse. Perhaps, if I had a barn to keep my “motor” warm and a trough in which to put its feed I would purchase a horse and buggy.

While in the midst of making a Huge Mistake (picking up diapers at Wal-Mart-in-the-evening with a congested toddler) my husband calls me to request that I come to his aid and pick him up at a grocery store where he stopped to get some ice cream because I had not brought any home from my trip earlier in the week. His key would not turn in the ignition, so he and his melty ice cream were stuck. Little did he know that I already had melting ice cream in my shopping cart.

I despise this particular Wal-Mart because it is always busy. Unless a person chooses to go in the middle of the night they will be waiting in line for twenty minutes or more while the baby decides to be hungry and the toddler thinks it a good time to get bored. However, I foolishly choose this specific store because they usually stock the training diapers I buy in larger boxes. Of course they didn’t have any this time.

While my husband sat in his car and waited for my arrival, I stood in a long line and rocked an increasingly irritated baby. My mother had come for a visit and I ungraciously dragged her along. (It’s always a good thing to have a Nana when there is more than one child and they are both unhappy at the length of the outing.)

We finally made it through the checkout line and I only had to sign away half of my life in order to pay the bill. There were some vain and foolish hopes on the part of both my husband and I that even though his key would not turn the cylinder mine would, as it is in slightly better shape than his old decrepit and pitted one. Not so much. This became painfully obvious after repeated attempts to make it work.

In case anyone is wondering, this is not a cheap fix (if there is such a thing). My Dad’s mantra when it comes to cars is: “Have car- will spend money”. I heard that a lot while growing up. I really think it has helped me cope with costly car repairs. Don’t ask me why. I guess I’ve just grown to accept it. I don’t like it though. Add on the price of gasoline these days to the price of upkeep and insurance, and I’m pretty much thinking of buying a horse. Or maybe just a big bird that can sit the entire family on its back and fly us anywhere we wanted to go.