How to Stay Well and not Break Bones, That is the Question

My husband recently started a new job. This means many things: better hours, the chance to learn a trade, increased income, and the opportunity for job satisfaction. It also means that our family will be without medical benefits for the duration of his probationary period with the new company. I have applied for interim coverage for the kids, but that won’t kick in for at least another month.

I find it all a little frightening. And I don’t respond well to fear. Every time the baby stands up in her highchair and launches herself from it I am afraid she has finally concussed, what with all of the blows she takes to the head being a crazy spider monkey. I am convinced that whenever a bump, wump, or CRASH is heard that a piece of furniture has come to life, trapping a small child beneath it, or the refrigerator has fallen on top of someone in an act of defiance for the state of its sticky shelves.

Whenever someone stumbles or face-plants on the sidewalk, or one of the kids starts pulling at their ear I see visions of our entire family in rags, destitute and living under a bridge somewhere with the flaps of our cardboard house fluttering in the arctic life-sucking wind.

If I could I would cause the cessation of eating, bathing, driving, and general movement until such a time that if an accident were to occur during any of these activities it would be covered by traditional medical benefits. The only way I can see to accomplish this goal would be for all four of us to go into spontaneous comas simultaneously.

As I said before, I don’t respond well to fear. It makes certain chemicals in my brain go a little haywire and over stimulate my imagination. Whenever these fantastical thoughts threaten to spill over into my consciousness I put the rock of prayer on the lid so they can’t get out: “Dear Lord, here we go! 1-2-3 coma!” I’m still awake though; I don’t think He’s responding to the words of my prayer so much as the spirit behind them which is, “Dear Lord, You’re doing a great job taking care of my family- keep it up!”