Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Beware of Harmless Questions

There is a spot in my chest that trills with fear whenever someone asks my son, “how are you?” When he was a little younger he would reply something like, “I’m two,” and I could totally deal with the cuteness. Now I just haven’t a clue what his response is going to be, and I’m the type of person who is generally not fond of surprises.

Last week at the doctor’s office when the nurse inquired after his health, “Gloppity-glop,” was his response. Had I not known that he picked up this phrase (and many others) from Dr. Seuss, I may have been a bit concerned as gloppity-glop sounds like it might be catching. I do a lot of smiling and patting him on the head when we’re out in public. Thankfully he hasn’t said anything bad or inappropriate. Yet.

Quirky phrases and odd quotes I can live with. However, some of his responses make me yearn for the days when he would hide behind my legs if a stranger addressed him. “Miff muffered moof” doesn’t sound so rude, but I could definitely live without his desire to wow the world with his facial muscle contortion control.

There have been times when a polite greeting has been returned with a roll of the eyes into the back of the head and a fantastical tongue lolling instead of a sweet blue-eyed toddler smile. I frequently find myself hoping that the recipient whose benign question elicited such a response has raised boys, or at least some sort of child who was once three-years-old.

As if these things aren’t enough to make a mother ill at ease, there is another charming habit he’s picked up that should really be exercised only at home. After a few minutes of watching Daddy play some Zelda video games, the little man became magically adept at reproducing the sounds of the main character, Link, attacking his foes and jumping off of high places in a single bound. The child now trots about (literally trots) whilst shouting a guttural “heeeeyyy-hey!” and whacking the furniture with a plastic golf club.

Aside from the furniture beating, the whole act is really rather cute. Inside. When taken outside I’m sure the entire block thinks he’s being forced to do something against his rather strong will, or he’s just being very rude and angry with mommy. It’s even better when he takes up his attack stance in a physician’s office or grocery store. This type of behavior tends to startle people. Perhaps I should set aside five minutes every day to indoctrinate about the proper way to greet people; especially people we don’t know.


Elissa Michelle said...

Somehow no matter what he does- he's still the cutest little boy I ever did meet... If I do say so myself. I'm so glad you document this stuff...

fawndear said...

Ha! Love his unique responses. Much better than snarling and snapping his teeth.
Beware - the sword weilding phase can last well into the teenage years.

Faith said...

In my experience the sword slashing can last on into the adult years. My husband still runs around with them- especially now that he has a little boy to run around with so people don't think he's strange. Which he is... ;)

Rach said...

Haha! I read this one aloud to Noah. I can't wait! If Daddy+video games produces fun and creative child- WE ARE SET! : )

That is fantastic and I wish I could witness such acts of fun!

Mama Janna said...

At Danielle's Graduation picnic my brother asked Rowan how he was doing ans he said "I'm doing the right thing Uncle Chris" I laughed so hard, it was great.

Rachel said...

Howdy! I saw your treasury hit the front page on Etsy today. How fun. I keep trying to achieve that. So I checked your shop. And your blog. I'm a mom too. But I have girls.