The Word "Housebroken" Literally Means the House Gets Broken

I walked into the living room to see my husband encouraging my son to leap from the ottoman onto the arrangement of couch pillows on the floor. My husband’s logic is that the kid will learn to do all of these things on his own, so therefore they may as well have a little bit of fun doing it together.


Scenario: Toddler jumps from ottoman onto couch pillows.

Daddy sees: Oh, boy! This is more fun than wrestling around on the floor! I can continue to not act my age!

Mommy sees: Having to rush toddler with broken arm to the hospital. Also foresees having to remind toddler that he cannot jump on Mrs. Smith’s couch, bed, chairs, etc; Mrs. Smith decides not to invite Mommy over anymore.

Scenario: Toddler is “swimming” in the bathtub.

Daddy sees: Opportunity to teach toddler a useful, perhaps lifesaving, skill.

Mommy sees: Water all over the bathroom floor, walls, toilet. Mommy slips in a puddle of water while carrying infant and falls. Mommy breaks her neck and being the only person in the house who can speak in complete sentences lies on her back in excruciating pain until after dark when Daddy gets home from work. Toddler shrivels up into a sickly prune and needs extensive therapy in order to return to his natural, pre-pruned state.


My husband picked up a couple of movies that were on sale that he wanted for Christmas. The deal was that since they were intended as Christmas presents he was not to watch them until Christmas day. We were wrapping presents last evening and he informed me that although he knows which movies he is getting he would still like for them to be wrapped so that he can open them during the morning’s festivities. I shook my head and laughed at this, but it was really kind of sweet. Most little boys don’t grow up: they just get taller.